For people with a clitoris or a vagina, this is how to achieve an orgasm on your own terms. But we forget that on the screens, especially the small ones pornography , an orgasm is often performative. They can visibly ejaculate. Sex and relationship expert Dr. When asked to describe orgasm, the responses vary wildly.
Suddenly sliding away from that peak is disappointing, to say the least. That's doubly true for women, many of whom find it much harder to achieve orgasm during penetrative sex. In fact, according to a recent survey, only 65 percent of heterosexual women consistently reach the pinnacle of pleasure during sex. So what can you do to help her reach that peak? Help her relax, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph. Translation: if you make a woman feel so good that she completely forgets about everything else, then you're highly likely to give her an orgasm. Of course, every woman is different, so what one woman loves in bed another woman might loathe.
Indeed, the female orgasm can be quite elusive. Why does penetrative sex alone so rarely lead to climax for women, and how often are women actually having orgasms? Nothing brings us into the present moment more than a good romp. You might have noticed that the same muscles that contract involuntarily during orgasm are the ones women engage when they do pelvic floor exercises or Kegels. These muscles can become weakened over time especially after pregnancy and childbirth , leading to a common problem in women—bladder leakage—as well as diminished sexual experience.
But they exist, and with a little awareness and attention, you can get the Os you deserve, from the fireworks-on-display kind to the calm oh-my-gods. When you find yourself missing out on the Big O, there are three likely culprits: expectations, communication, and method. And alongside all of that, experimenting is required. The clitoris is a small organ with a lot of nerve endings that peeks out from the tiptop of the vulva, is often covered by a hood, and extends down the inside of the labia. The best way to stimulate the clitoris is by gently rubbing with the fingers, palm, or tongue in a back and forth or circular motion.